Brown bottles

As I drive slowly to St Patrick’s hospital. My heart thumps mildly. I am trying to concentrate on my driving, but my mind keeps dragging me back to last week.

Last week, Taye (my friend) and  I went to the bar. I just won the contract for a road construction, so we went to celebrate this feat. I ordered free drinks on the house. I paid for the drinks of about 30 people present at the bar.

I used to boast that I could control my senses under the influence of alcohol, so Taye and I decided that today was a brilliant day to to test out who had the highest alcohol tolerance of the two of us. Before we knew it, we were on 6 bottles of beer and were both very drunk! I could hardly keep my mind in one place!

Soon , a girl walked up to my table and engaged me in a conversation. I remember she was really pretty and had a beautiful red gown on . Another thing I noticed even while my head was spinning was that she had the most beautiful accent. It sounded a little bit American but with a hint of the swagger with which Britons talked , I loved it.

I don’t remember much of the conversation, but I know we discussed her love life. From the hint of whiskey I perceived from her mouth, It was obvious she had been drinking too, but was not drunk.

On a good day, I would avoid a keen discussion with such a pretty being at a bar, mainly because I’m married! And I love my wife with my life, so I try to steer away from any sought of storms that would rock the boats our beautiful marriage.

She talked about how she had problems dating numerous guys. She rambled on about how she had lost faith in love. I told her I did not share her beliefs and I struggled to be coherent when narrating the love story between my wife and I.   I can’t remember what else we said to each other but I remember she beamed a lot during our conversation. She had a beautiful smile .

At some point, I checked my watch and realised it was few minutes past 10pm. My wife would be worried!!!!

I lazily got up to walk to my car, but I kept stumbling. Taye was not much of a help. He was very drunk too, so you could say that we were both as useless as the “p” in psycho. I don’t even know which direction Taye staggered to.

In the midst of my troubles, pretty lady (I did not get her name yet) came to my aid as I staggered aimlessly around the bar.

I did not know what I was doing and I foolishly followed her into my car. My phone rang. I took a look at it, my wife was trying to call but I could not coordinate my senses to pick up, talk less about speaking.

Pretty lady drove me off and honestly  I can hardly remember what happened after . All I realized is that when I regained full consciousness the next morning, I was only wearing my boxers, on a bed , in an unfamiliar environment.

As I looked up I noticed that the pretty miss that rescued me from yester-night was all dressed up and ready for work. A confused me asked her if anything happened between us and all I got was a smile. Just like the beams she flashed often at the bar.

She told me she was hurrying off to work and that I should dress up also. She left her business card and my car keys on the sofa where I lay and she took off.

My God! Am I dreaming? What have I done? Right there and then, I swore never to drink anymore. What explanation would I offer my wife? How the hell did I end up in this mess? What in the world happened last night? Those were the questions that flew through my head in random fashion.

I practically flew out of pretty lady’s home without even taking a blink at the card. I got home to a very worried wife and I offered her one cock and bull story about having to pass the night at a friend’s place. Though it was not convincing enough and I could tell that she was not buying my story. That was the best I could offer on short notice.

Ever since the incident with pretty lady I have not had rest. Have I contracted HIV/AIDS or some other sexually transmitted disease? Are my days numbered? I don’t even know what to think. I have been too much of a scared cat to go for a proper check-up.

This morning I decided to face my fears. As I would not have good rest until I had a complete check-up.

Here I am now in the doctor’s office waiting anxiously for the results of the tests. He tells me that I don’t have syphilis but my test for HIV turned out positive. My world had been turned upside down. What would I do?, what will I tell my wife? He starts to explain that this is not the end of the world and continues on with some other things. All his explanations fall on deaf ears. All I think about is my life, what will become of it.
Shortly after a nurse comes  and says “sir, I think I mixed up those results”. Oh – my!!! Did I hear right? my innermost soul craved that what the nurse said be true. Luckily, it was. I was cleared. The positive HIV result belonged to another person. I had pity on that person but  I was grateful I was not the victim.

I don’t know what happened that night, I don’t know if I ever want to know. Maybe, nothing even happened. Maybe pretty miss just took care of me and gave me a place to sleep. Whatever it is, I don’t want to know. All I know is that I don’t want to have anything to do with those brown bottles any more.

Written by Kolade Oluwapelumi

Follow On Twitter and Instagram (@koladepelumi)


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