Things We Do For Love (#8 room 24)

Escapades of the lxgents…….
Episode 8

Up Nepa!! Up Nepa!! The sound resounded throughout the silent hostel. The owner of the voice was one of our friends, Frank. Frank is what some would call weird, some freakish and others frustrating. But the truth is that Frank is really a cool guy once you can get past his peculiar behavior. He had not finished hailing Nepa, the monarchs of power in Nigeria before we heard an audible blow, a visible 
spark and a pungent odor.

The extension had just dealt us a solid blow and since there were only two electric sockets in the room, we really needed an extension and so Eze went to borrow Mindy’s own for us to use. In the split second that Mindy’s door was open; we noticed that Mindy’s friend, Linda was around. Frank instantly knew this was bad news as we were definitely gonna tease him.

And tease him we did calling him a spineless chicken who couldn’t approach his crush. In defense Frank spoke up and told us that we should name any place and any time and he was gonna approach the girl. The guys told him to go and meet her now now. Frank said he was gonna do better and ask her out on a date but on one condition, we foot the bill.

The others disagreed but Drake and Aso agreed thinking he could not do it. They even said they would buy suya. The suya alone was enough to convince Frank as he walked boldly to Mindy’s room and asked Linda out much to the disbelief of Drake and Aso. But a promise was a promise and so Drake and Aso set out at night to go and get the suya and the drinks.

As the guys were walking to the junction to buy the stuff, they met some guys drinking alcohol and smoking like a village woman’s firewood stove. They hurriedly walked past the guys pretending as if they weren’t there. They almost stopped when they heard the whistle but they pretended as if they didn’t hear that too. Then they heard footsteps coming closer and they actually smelled the dude before he even touched them. “Una no hear say we dey call una abi or una deaf abi” He said. “Ah sorry we didn’t know it was us you were calling” Aso said.

So they went to meet the guys and one of them who seemed liked the leader asked their names. Drake, thinking on his feet quickly formed another name and gave it to him also telling him he was a fresher (that card always works). Not to be the dulling one, Aso did the same.

Thinking they were 100 level JJCs he made threats like telling them he was a cultist from another school and that he came to visit his friend in our school. He claimed he could kill them on the spot or have them beaten. He asked if they knew he could and they replied “yes” just to make him happy. He said “do you know ‘aye’?” They pretended like they did not know what he was talking about, they made him explain to them what ‘aye’ meant and amidst all his threats a strange laughter started bubbling inside Drake.

Suppressing this laughter was a great deal of work as he did not want matters complicated… amidst all his threats  he ended up asking for money for drinks…They simply gave him 200 naira and that solved his pitiable case… his face lit up and we were free to go. Aso and Drake shared the cost of entertaining their new found friend… almost regretting that they came out that night as they just ended up spending money for people. The drink and suya they went to buy did not belong to them and they just gave a jobless stranger their money.

As they were still ruminating and grumbling about all this, a car speeds by and splashes mud water on them. The reflex action of jumping away turned out to be a bad idea as everything they held fell down into the gutter including the drinks.
Na to start to dey cry oo….
by prodigy (@prodeegee) and Kolade Pelumi (@dricks009)

so… there u have it .. the end of season 1 for room24… it has been quite a season. From the pilot episode I knew it would be a banger series, hence the code name. I was proved right after all. Mad house (issue 4) became one of the highest viewed articles on the blog!!! its quite sad season has come to an end.

from the pilot…. which got us wanting for more… to the Ibara experience which got us shaking our heads in disbelief… to the thriller and my personal favorite The visitor… then came the all popular A mad house followed by the scary Hunted or haunted, then Wrestlemania(fight of life).. forgive my “of lifes” then came the intresting tale of the Poor rich boys…. to the season finale Things we do for love. I think its cool that we ending on a loving note. Well if you want to know what keeps going down with the lxgents and room 24, stay tuned for the more and intriguing season 2!!!!!. well from me(fill in the gap), prodigy(the smart nigga), ese (spartan and stammerer..(joke though), A.S.O( the “imaginator”) jboy (the fine boy), vikitor(the brilliant geek..(i just added brilliant to make him happy sha lol), baller(tycoon of life) its goodbye for now. Season 1 was cool….. season 2 would be even cooler because we would be chilling in the freezer (please get the joke)…. till then have a merry christmas and a happy new year

watch out for know your temperament episode 2 coming soon…
follow @stellarart009 to get links for coming posts

In case you want to catch the whole series… click here

ROOM 24, GRACE HOSTEL (issue 7)

Escapades of the lxgents…….
Episode 7
The hols were approaching and you could practically feel the excitement in the air as higher institutional students were not immune to the thrills of any kind of holiday. This holiday was in fact a short one as all first semester breaks were but that did not dampen the excitement one bit.
As for the gang, we decided to have a final get-together to mark the end of another semester and the beginning of the holidays. The date was set on the last day of our exams and it was agreed we would all leave the next morning. Everyone was good with that and anticipated the day. Then Jboy told us he had to leave immediately after the last paper and that something had come up. Drake also excused himself.
The last paper was tough but we all scaled through and did it as fast as we could without actually skipping questions as our minds were already outside the exam halls. After I finished the paper, I went to the school hostel which was supposed to be my house to pack some things out of the stuff I had left there while hoping my roommates had not helped themselves to my belongings. 
After that, I first visited the ATM and withdrew a little money hoping to withdraw my transport fare the next day. I then hit the market as I was in charge of the cooking.
After hours of finding the right ingredients and spending over twice the amount my mum would have done, I carried on to the room to start dinner. I don’t claim to be on the levels of the professional cooks but I believe in my exceptional culinary skills. And it was brought to play that night as every drop of my fish stew and rice mysteriously disappeared with me barely eating enough. Eze was in charge of drinks and as usual didn’t disappoint (if u like water). After dinner we watched some films like Sherlock Holmes 2 and Ip man 2. Then we retired for the night with thoughts of going home foremost on our minds.
Morning met all of us rushing to get ready to go to Lagos. We had our baths, dressed up, took our bags and left the house. Tycoon said he had to get his things from his house and since he was not going to Lagos with us as he stayed at Ibadan, he bade us goodbye and left. Only Rydberg was left among us that was not going to Lagos as he had a family house in Abeokuta. And so we all walked to the ATM to withdraw money for our transport fare. I inserted my card and chose the amount and an error message was brought back to me. I tried it again and got the same result. Then I noticed that all of us had the same problems. We reported the case to the security guard there and he told us that the problem was all over town and that our type of card could not withdraw and that we would have to wait till Monday to resolve the issue.
Since we were bent on going home that day, we tried other avenues to raise the transport fare all to no avail. Then Rydberg who only escorted us told us that he really had to go and off he went. Then I called my parents and told them the problem and they told me to go stay at my uncle’s house at Abk and he’ll give me the fare, but I thought about it and knew I couldn’t abandon my guys just like that. At this time it was just me, Eze and Pariz who had money in the bank but couldn’t get it and this was more like not having anything at all.
Then we went to the woman at the buttery near the hostel to lend some money, This we regretted as her behavior towards us changed with her talking haughtily to us but Impromptu beggars can’t be choosers right?. She said she was going to try other ATMs in town and that she also had no cash in hand too. And so we waited and waited and waited. In fact I slept and woke up about three good times before we realized it was already getting late and that we would have to wait till Monday before going home. So we went home and I put beans on fire and Eze went to sleep while Pariz was lounging around.
Then I saw Eze jump out of his sleep and run downstairs saying someone was calling me. It turned out to be a guy telling us the buttery woman was calling me and so I went and she gave us half the money we needed to get home. Adding this to #400 with Pariz and #200 with I and Eze, we decided to risk travelling home that evening. By then it was already past five.
I quickly turned the semihard beans into a cooler, sprinkled some salt, maggi and oil, shook it and covered it and we ran to the bus stop. As we got there we saw a very good friend of ours Chinky who’s in Computer science dept. with her friend who was also one of my good friends and we greeted them and let them know that if they were looking for us, they should check the Lagos Ibadan expressway maybe we were stranded.  As usual God takes care of his own and this was evident in that from the room till the taxi stand, no money was collected and this helped our resources a lot.
We got to the garage, found a bus paid the due and started calculating how we would get home from our individual drop points in Lagos. Eze called his sister who told him to take a bike home, Pariz said he was gonna go to his mum’s shop and we agreed that I should use the remaining cash to get home. Seeing that we barely paid our way home, snacks were out of the question, then I remembered the beans I had packed and I brought it out, found a spoon and we started passing the cooler around taking two two spoons. Who knew semi hard beans could taste so good?  Well maybe because I cooked it.
Eventually we got to Lagos and I got to my house at some minutes to nine and thankfully my parents were not around. I settled in and started unpacking when my brother came in asking me to give him money to buy airtime. I just looked at him and started laughing…..
By prodigy(@prodeegee)
»This post is long enough… Let me not complicate matters with another epistle . it was good though…. Kindly re share this article…. Subscribe to post updates via BBM by adding 7AD0F4C1
»YES YES  A brand new segment will soon be coming on this blog…. Echoes of a realist!!!! It’s going to be a heat wave…. I tell u.
»The concluding episode of the saga bus ride will be released dis weekend!!!!
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Know your Temperament


Back when I was in Secondary  school  I used to pride myself in being a young witty scientist. I would try to propound theories, solve mysteries and the likes. There was a time this became an obsession. Sadly, many of the theories I thought I had conceived, I later found out had been published by one scientist or astrologer. One of my best “theories” was what I called “theory of repeated actions”.

I was sitting down in the classroom that day and I decided that the way we think, act must be based on actions we were forced to repeat so many times.(my explanation goes on and on…….) quite unfortunately my hopes of having a theory “published” in my name was dashed away when I stumbled on a very similar theory propounded earlier by a scientist. Though I was happy I thought about it also, I also felt an equal amount of grief.

So that takes me to our topic “Know your temperament”. Have you also ever wondered  why we feel what we feel, or think in a particular way, or even act like we act? Well the answers to our riddle can be seen in people’s temperaments(behavior).  The four human temperaments are sanguine (pleasure-seeking and sociable), choleric (ambitious and leader-like), melancholic (analytical and thoughtful), and phlegmatic (relaxed and quiet).

Though modern science does not agree with the principles of the four human temperaments as evidence has not been seen to accept it hook ,line and sinker. Different philosophers and analysts from time in memorial have always categorized human behavior into this four groups. Sometimes, they come in different names, but it is still the same  basic idea.
Humans in general do not fit completetely into one temperament, we usually combine different attributes from the temperaments. However one is usually dominant and is taken as a person’s temperament.

Knowing your dominant temperament can help in so many ways. From understanding why you act and behave in a particular way to cashing in on the advantages and “talents” embedded in your own dominant temperament. For example cholerics make good leaders, sanguines are good talkers etc. you would learn the short-comings of your temperament and in essence how to deal with them.

If you want to know which temperament category you fall into, tune in next week. We would be taking the choleric temperament first.

By KoladePelumi @koladepelumi and yinka (@yinka_sleek)
Follow this blog’s official Twitter account @vexscheworld
Issue 7 of room 24 GH is on its way!!!!

The Bus Ride (ride of life) {Short story by Kolade Pelumi)

Commercial buses fondly called “danfo” buses are the commonest means of transportation in the cities. Motorcycles locally termed “okadas” are a good alternative for better flow of traffic and comfort, sadly they are very dangerous as most of their accidents are fatal.
If you move regularly by means of these commercial vehicles , you would have noticed  that they are not jolly rides. Especially for people like me. Maxi-sized individuals rarely pity skinny boys like me. I dread times when 3 robust and well fed market women sit at the back row of the bus with me, squeezing life out of me. The annoying thing is that after noticing that I am apparently in pain they would still be making gestures at me to move aside.
There are times when I wish I suddenly triple in size and fight for my right. Sadly, wishes are not horses, and these magnanimously blessed individuals take advantage of my slender structure. It hurts that I still have to pay the same amount of money with them. If I had my way, they would pay for two!! I jokingly say to myself that one day I would become a human rights activist whose specialty is fighting for the bus rights of we “lepa”(skinny) people.
On this fateful day, I was approaching the bus-stop silently praying that good fortune smiled my way today, I was tired and weak as a result of the day’s activities. I tried to salvage the little strength that remained with me and I was not ready to expend it fighting for space.
As fate would have it I saw a bus which harbored two beautiful ladies at the back seat, they were youth corpers apparently as they wore NYSC shirts. The front seats were also free and naturally would have been a preferred option. But only heaven knew the kind of person that would sit next to me. I decided to sit in between the two ladies because the devil that you know is better than the angel you don’t know… plus my case was better it was 2  angels I already knew, though I was soon to discover that all that glitters is not gold. I wore a smile over my face that conveyed relief, I did not have to struggle for space  today. Little did I know that I was in for the ride of my life.
I got into the bus in a somewhat majestical style. while trying to act cool, I gently took my seat in between the ladies as planned. After waiting for two minutes I leaned over to ask the man sitting in front of me about the whereabouts of the driver as the driver was not on sit. He merely told me that the driver went out for a moment and would soon be back. He also said the bus would move shortly. A while later he and some other guy got down from the bus. It turned out that he was the driver and he was posing as a passenger to give us the illusion that the bus was almost filled up. This was not a sincere act but I had to acknowledge that it was smart.
He cranked up the car and we were off. I inserted my earpiece into my ears ready to enjoy cool music during what I expected to be a peaceful ride. It was not long before my ordeal began. About 5 minutes into the drive I heard one of the girls sniff. I Soon realized what she was reacting too as I too started sniffing. Someone had released a chronic pungent odor which soon filled the whole car like heavy tear gas.
The smell concentrated more around me and I was convinced that this special fragrance must have been released by one of the pretty girls beside me. Yet, they were both muttering comments like “fmm fmm” ,“this is just terrible”, “this is not fair ooo” another man said “people need to drink hypo in order to wash their stomachs”. Funny enough, it was obvious the smell came from my direction and since the two girls sitting beside me where cursing, other passengers started looking in my direction suspiciously. I shouted angrily probably borne out of embarrassment “no be me ooo”.
I was already holding my nose and gasping for breath with my mouth. Slowly but surely the smell weared off and we reached a bus stop. A young guy who I assume to be in his mid-twenties alighted from the bus. Just as the bus was about to take off we started hearing someone yell “ my phone is missing”!!!!!!…
The driver pulled over. Alas! The man that just alighted from the bus was the person wailing that his phone had gone missing. Pandemonium broke free and all hell was loose in the bus. Some passengers were busy swearing, others complaining that time was being was wasted, the rest shouting and ranting some nonsense at the man whose phone was missing. I just sat still in my chair, not knowing what to think or say.
Soon a man in a soldiers’ apparel( I had not noticed him before) got down from the bus. This man was quite built physically and if you stared deep into his eyes you could almost feel the pain and anguish they were carrying. I started thinking of how many men he would have murdered, of course he was a soldier and that’s what they were trained to do. I began to picture myself in military school, I thought to myself that there was no way a guy like me could survive such harsh training. I would have probably died long ago or dropped out… …. My day dream was cut short as I felt a tight grip on my wrists. This was the kind of grip he must have used to murder people. He dragged every individual one after the other out of the bus. Fear had  gradually began to creep in
Suddenly I started feeling guilty as if I was the one who stole the missing phone, what if its in my pocket? what if it was dropped in my bag mistakenly? What if it developed wings or crawled into my bag miraculously?  Those were the questions flying inside my head. Then I started convincing myself that I could not be the thief. While I was engaged in my dilemma, the soldier announced he was going to search everyone from head to toe. He started looking at everybody’s face and soon our eyes clashed. He sensed my fear and said “ I dey suspect dis pikin” I felt like telling him to his face “who be pikin?” but the thought of receiving a deafening slap kept me mute. Though I was sure I did not take the phone, my face betrayed my conviction.

After the soldier’s comment, attention started coming towards me . People started throwing suspicious glances at me once again. This time I had no reply for them.My expressions only betrayed my innocence the more .I could hardly feel my mouth, talk less of moving them. My hands were already shaking and my entire body was now the epitome of the personification of fear.
Just then, one of the pretty NYSC ladies asked the phone owner for his phone number, I wonder why this had not occurred to anyone yet, probably we all thought it had been stolen and the thief could not be so dumb to leave it on. But I mean, it was still worth the try. She dialed it and the phone started ringing….

Lo and behold, it was ringing in the trousers of the owner. Apparently, he had a leaking pocket and his phone had slipped all the way to the bottom without his knowledge. He was wearing skinny pants so his phone could not drop to the ground. You need to see the look on his face when he discovered the phone, he was like a helpless puppy looking for its mummy, simply priceless!!!
Different people now wore different expressions. The soldier was putting on an angry look, some looks portrayed disbelief, others frustration, the driver was upset, angry, frustrated all in one. He had missed out time to make more returns. I had the best look at that moment. My look portrayed relief. Our tight-fisted soldier apologized for rough handling us.
The journey henceforth was silent. I could not wait to get off this plagued vehicle.
As I approached my bus stop I reached into my pocket to bring out my #100 naira note. All I that was in my pocket was this flyer I was given to attend a program. Come to think of it…. I could bet I had thrown that flyer away. On my way to the car park, a lady walked towards me and handed me this flyer. She made me say to her that I was going to attend this praise programme her church was organizing. Not wanting to waste my time and also disappoint the lady, I said I would come. After I left her, I remember reaching into my pocket to throw the flyer into the dustbin.
Did I throw my money away instead of the flyer?…. See me see #GOBE . All that was irrelevant now. What was on ground now was how to produce the 60 naira transport fare!!

Written by @koladePelumi