This will ruin you by Salawu Ibrahim

.I just kept on staring at the corner of the bed where the slap landed me on.I’m sorry, I’m sorry please; it was a mistake ‘tiwa kept on repeating

She dared not touch me. I then began to remember the things I said I would do to any girl who slaps me when I was much younger but alas, if it doesn’t happen to you, you never know.
It was the first time she slapped but not the first time she did something similar.It was my birthday on the 17th day in August last year. She was the first to call me
‘Don’t pick any calls apart from mine, she jealously said’ mo ti gbo oShe was like my first love having been chaste throughout my university days“It’s going to be a great day” she said   I know, I replied
We already scheduled plans for the day. I woke up in the morning, took a special bath and dressed neatly with voices whispering ‘it’s going to be a great day’ in my head. It was my second birthday with my girlfriend; my first love. We met at our rendezvous. She welcomed me with a warm kiss.
We were going to have lunch, and basically just have fun for the rest of the day before we returned to my house for a special birthday sex
At the restaurant, we ordered our meals and started eating, staring at each other like one of the scenes in a Hollywood movie. Soon enough, I recognized an old friend nearby who fortunately saw my birthday notification on facebook. Of course she wanted to greet me. She rushed towards me with a hug. I had to leave the table to talk to her. She excused me away from Tiwa for a little chat. I kept on looking back and making signs I’d join her soon. In less than 3 minutes, I was back. Her face changed, I didn’t know what happened she flared up, got angry uncontrollably and scattered the table spilling the dishes on me. I was so embarrassed but had to act normal and leave there. Birthday came to an impromptu finish. It was the worst birthday ever
Sadly, it didn’t end there. I didn’t know she was capable of doing worse. The other incident that happened was on my sister’s wedding and as my girlfriend; she had a spot among family. She came over as a guest. I had plans to introduce her to the big family unknown to her. As expected, I was busy throughout the event serving people food and attending to other requests from the invited guests. Tiwa was sitted all alone in the hall like we agreed; I didn’t want to engage her in the stress of being an usher. It wasn’t so difficult errands with help from my younger female cousin who is very pretty of course. Probably she must have had the thought she wasn’t who I told her she was. We were very close of course and maybe she looked like she was my girlfriend. Just maybe.
At the end of the whole days work, I went to sit with her. She was livid and her face looked very hard, like someone who had been abandoned. I thought she understood how busy I would be before she agreed to come to the ceremony. I tried to joke with her but all she did was shout at me in and angrily left the event. The attention of the hall was directed towards my side. I tried to calm them down by telling them she was just an unsatisfied guest. Not so many people knew her after all so it was quite easy for me. Again, it was an embarrassing outing with her.
I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with a jealous woman, I said to myself that night. Little did I know it would only get worse. I didn’t know I would get slapped too.
It wasn’t all rosy. We had fights more than often and it was difficult having to combine work with such a life threatening relationship.
All through the years, I thought I could change her to stop being jealous on seeing me with anyone else but I was wrong. People do not change so easily. I lied to myself.
I wanted to take her home to mama.
She isn’t the one for me……….. She isn’t the one for me…. I kept on telling myself as tears flowed down my cheek till I slept off.
This will ruin you, I told her as she packed her bags the following morning.
I’m 27 and still searching.
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 It was nice hanging out with my relatives at Festac, 4th Avenue, Lagos. This is a short story my big uncle shared with me. After a long discussion about what students in my school look like and how boring the whole session went. Our discussion led into the career and relationship zone where everyone contributed….. even my little cousin who is 15, has a girlfriend and they claim to be in love.
I wouldn’t have sapped the story out of my uncle’s  mind if I hadn’t shared my suspected “gay friends” story. He was shocked and everyone kept asking me why I didn’t report them to the necessary authorities. During the story, I noticed my uncle was not cool with the act and had this disturbed look on his face, finally he uttered a statement; “hey, those guys better stop such nonsense act. jail is real, you guys probably don’t know.
We all laughed and I said, “In this country, if they are ‘mouthed’ they’ll do it and nothing is gonna happen”‎. This discussion bored Femi because he’s a nerdy Robot Science Engineering graduate. He wasn’t interested in such issues. We sat to eat dinner as my uncle shared with us a true of life story of one of his University friends that landed in jail.
It all started on the campus of the then University of Ile-Ife, now Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife. In the mid 70’s as an undergraduate, my uncle, Oye, a student of Architecture part 4, had a roommate, a fresh student of the Petroleum Engineering whose name was Samuel.
As the first semester rolled by, Samuel learnt a lot from Oye academically, socially as well as spiritually. Samuel is brilliant and intelligent.
His first Sunday on campus, he went with Oye to worship at his fellowship, during the service, Samuel alongsides some people were welcomed as first time worshipers in the fellowship. Their details were taken and they were assigned to different executives in the fellowship for follow up and visitation. As if pre-planned, Oye was assigned to follow Samuel and other three first timers up.
He kept on being his cool-headed self until this fateful day came when Samuel went to the library to study at night, as fresh students do, when it’s almost mid semester test period. At the library, everyone was seated, cubicles were occupied. The library was full. Oh! I forgot to tell you that He is a well built, tall, dark and handsome dude. He participated in sporting activities such as Badminton, Hockey, Lawn Tennis as well as Swimming.
All of these made him so popular even as a fresh man on campus, that’s by the way though. The library was filled up, but the only empty seat available was beside a girl with a set of hands-free on, listening to Stevie Wonders hit music.
Samuel went for the seat, tapped the girl as her bag was on the seat. 
Surprisingly, this girl happened to be one the people that were welcomed as first time worshippers in Oye’s fellowship. So a conversation ensued between Samuel and Titilope. The girl is also a fresh student of the Medical Sciences Department and also became a chorister in the fellowship’s choir eventually.
They kept talking for about an hour or more and later started studying for the tests. After studying for about 3 hours, Titilope felt tired and decided to leave the library for her hall of residence. Like all ladies do, Titilope asked, “Samuel do you mind walking me down through the dark, I’m scared?. Samuel, a coolheaded gentle boy packed his books and left the library with Titilope.
This story was getting interesting when Femi had a video call from his girlfriend Yinka from UK. Femi, my cousin always talked about Yinka anytime we chat, so he took me along to receive the call. I had the chance of getting to know Yinka, she’s so beautiful. Femi got angry at the way Yinka and I got talking and laughing for long and the way I used my Egusi soup stained hand to hold his white iPhone6.
 My Uncle didn’t stop the story, but we joined the concersation after the call, at this point he was saying Samuel killed a big snake while walking Titilope down to her hostel,but unfortunately, Samuel was bitten by the snake on his wrist. Titilope ran to her hostel to inform the hall porters who were fast asleep, but her shout for help woke them up, one of the fat female porters, who was seated on her wheelchair, jumped up and ran out, she later remembered she was lame, she then ran back to her wheelchair and rolled herself out.
They helped him remove the venom locally, using an antidote, banded his wrist and took him to the school’s health centre for proper medication. He was treated and discharged without wasting time. He explained the story to my Uncle…
Femi, interrupted the story with his lovey dovey Yinka, saying Samuel’s story looked similar to that of his and Yinka’s. They met at the restaurant in the UK, Yinka was indisposed from school stress, as a result, she fainted. He helped her, drove her to the hospital and afterwards cupid shot an arrow of love at them.
 As per Funaab boy, we no dey carry last, I jumped in saying, “I had this close friend of mine that had similar experience too (Lol). My friend met his girlfriend at a church vigil, after the vigil they rested on a bench, while the girl was asleep, she had a dream in which a demon was chasing her, as a spiritual brother, when the demon was about beheading the girl, my friend woke the girl and saved her life and that was how love stole their hearts…. Don’t mind me dear reader.
Titilope came by to check on Samuel after the test in the afternoon, she stopped at the mini mart to get him some stuffs and groceries. They talked about the tests which went well, as they were both brilliant and intelligent, they laughed about the snake bite occurrence and Titi commented on Samuel’s bravery, how she had held on tight to him at the sight of the snake. They had fun together and enjoyed each other’s company.
Titilope couldn’t help commenting on how cute Samuel looked. Samuel was flattered and returned the compliment. Time after time, they became intimate friends, visited themselves, had hangouts, shared secrets and special moments together, everyone in the fellowship, campus and hostels including my Uncle noticed their romantic closeness, but it was nothing since they were all grown ups.

Love is so powerful, it steals your heart even when you think you’re not gonna give in. As it was their first Valentine’s Day on campus, they both had plans in mind to paint every moment of that day Red and White, they sent letters, pictures and gifts to each other and some of their loved ones.

In the evening, they went out to the pool side and later headed for the club. At the end of the day, while walking back to their hostels, they held hands, laughed, hugged, tickled and had heir first kiss. They could feel what was growing between them and it was beautiful. 
They were both quiet for few minutes, Samuel was about saying something when Titilope raised her voice to say something same as Titilope.  Samuel was like you go first….she refused though and waited for him to speak. Samuel made Titilope know what was going on in his mind, how he felt about her, Titilope happened to be the first girl Samuel fell in love with.
Tiitilope confessed how she felt as well, they were both happy as they went on kissing by the road side. Oye and his girlfriend walked by and saw them doing the whole love thing. Samuel explained the whole thing to Oye and he laughed as if he never saw them when he got to the hostel.
Their love continued to grow stronger and beautiful, academically they were cool, they lasted from their first year till Samuel’s final year, because Medical Science students spend about six to seven years before they obtain their degrees,they didn’t graduate together. It was Samuel’s final year, part 5, first semester, Petroleum Engineering CGPA 4.05. 
Oye had graduated and was working as an engineer at Guinness Nigeria, they still kept in touch and updated each other on things happening in their lives as they were more friends than room mates. As the semester went on, Titilope had an encounter with a pastor-friend who preached to her to re-dedicate her life to Christ, drop some habits and break her relationship with her boyfriend. Titilope was totally convinced by the pastor-Friend. Though the decision was so hard to make, she kept her distance from Samuel. All through their relationship they had kept the bed undefiled and remained faithful to each other.
Samuel noticed the changes in Titilope and kept trying to know what was wrong but she kept on keeping her distance and afterwards told Samuel they had to break the relationship for Godly reasons which she didn’t explicitly discuss with him as the pastor-friend instructed her not to spend so much time with Samuel to avoid temptation. Samuel tried convincing her but all he did failed.
Samuel was devastated, he kept asking himself, if it was Godly to bring unhappiness into a happy and beautiful relationship? Was it really Godly?
His heartbreak affected him so much, he lost so many of his sport competitions, dropped some of his defended titles, He misbehaved in training sessions and the coach had to suspend him.
Samuel tried getting Titilope back but she already built her walls so high that no one could climb it. He discussed Titilope with all his friends and they gave him different advice which he couldn’t try since she didn’t even give him a chance to come close. One of the friends he discussed with, advised Samuel to invite her out, take her in and make love to her. Samuel had a Godly background and rejected the advice. Samuel’s friends were angry and they told him they were gonna try to help out. But he already made up his mind to never go back to her if that was what fate wanted for him. 
By Oyesomi Dotun (@Dottmannbricks)


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The story of my Wife (Short story by @poetolu)

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 My wife becomes a mute when mad at me. She would completely ignore me, pretending not to hear anything I say, and getting her to say even a word becomes as futile as cooking a stone in a sieve. Her last ‘silence war’ lasted three full days. I noticed she had ‘outgrown’ her favourite dress, and I stupidly mentioned my observation. This time, it has lasted a week already, a whole week of weakening frustration, yet without an idea of what my offence is or how to appease her.

I have tried everything, so far, nothing has worked; not even the flowers I sent to her office or my sudden delight in making breakfast and dinner, every night. All my efforts have been as futile as cooking a stone in a sieve with a candle, outdoors, on a windy evening.
The seven o’clock news came on, when I decided to give it another try; perhaps, ‘the god of the news’ would look down on me with mercy. I joined my wife on the sofa and softly whispered her name, but she was too engrossed in the book she was pretending to read. I cooed again, in a husky voice, attempting to sound seductive, it was however tinged with desperation. “Oluwakemi…”
I had deliberately made her name linger on my lips. There was no answer. “Guess who was at our office today?” I said. I paused to see if I caught her attention. I caught nothing so I continued. “It was your friend, Ngozi. She wanted me to give you the 150,000 Naira she owes you for our wedding’s aso-ebi. Can you imagine dear? Two months after the wedding already, your friend is funny sha”.
’Kemi shifted a bit uneasily on the sofa but without looking in my direction or saying a word still. My eyes brightened at the little reaction. It was the best I had gotten all week and it encouraged me to press further. I might be able to get her into a conversation soon enough. “Honey, I bought a new laptop today, a great machine and for a very good price, of almost 150,000 Naira. You know, it’s a needed replacement for that old horse I’ve been using since we were at the university”.
My wife shifted again. I could sense she really wanted to say something but was holding it back. I kept talking. “I used the… er… money from Ngozi, but I’ll surely refund at the end of …er…”
A quick lightning flashed across the room interrupting me, but it took me half of a second to realise the flash was my wife springing up from the sofa, with a menacing heave of her chest. “What?” ’Kemi bellowed, shocking me a bit with her transformation into a roaring lioness. “You did what, Femi? Spent my money, that I already had plans for?” She began to churn out several strings of words that could communicate her displeasure to a deaf man six streets away, before finally bursting into an incoherent tirade.
I sat still and watched my wife, but the effect of my calm demeanour on her, was akin to splashing water into a pan of boiling hot oil. It only infuriated her more. I kept on watched her energetic out pour, till I couldn’t hold my laughter anymore, letting it out so violently, the walls of my stomach appeared to collapse.
Then slowly, it all dawned on ‘Kemi. Her face brightened as she began to laugh as well. I was already pulling the wads Ngozi gave me, to give my wife when she said, “you know liars will burn in hell right?” “So will people who get angry easily about money” I retorted, smiling and sticking my tongue out at her.
She responded with what looked like a frown, a smile and a pout all mashed up, as she reached for the nearest pillow to strike me with. I quickly rose up, knocked the pillow off her hands and with a quick jerky movement, pulled her closely into me. The news was still on, but the newscaster’s voice sounded drowned and very far away. We simply stood there closely, in the centre of the living room, in silence, staring into each other’s eyes. ‘Kemi’s breathing got heavier as her eyes slowly began to shut. She looked really beautiful.
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A fighting Chance (by Dele Fatoki)

A Fighting chance (by Dele Fatoki)

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Knock knock “it’s Charles”. That was the sound that woke me up on a Saturday morning, the Saturday I decided to be lazy and do nothing as it was less than a week that I fully resumed into a new academic year. I had been busy throughout the week and as such I decided to help myself with a long sleep and unproductivity that day and the cold weather was perfect for the plan.

“I am coming” was my reply in a weak tone so as not to chase the sleep I long waited for away. I stood up powerlessly from the bed and walked towards the door in slow motion.
“Open the door or what are you doing inside” Charles  said in his usual playful tone as he hit my door continuously as to remind me that I was beginning to take much time for me to open the door. It didn’t change my movement.

“Good morning” I said as I opened the door half way and rested my whole body weight on it. “Good morning, please I  need your cloth peg” Charles said in his natural funny voice. Charles  is like my school brother along sides his roommate ‘spartan’ and is also one of the most lively persons in the hostel, known for his mysterious ‘whinnings’ and all of a sudden quietness. He was topless and wearing a Chelsea short Knicker. The excess sweat on him not only made his burnt complexion glaring but also made it obvious that he just spent hours in the bathroom. I got the pegs for him and handed it over. “Thanks.. I will see you later” he said and I nodded in agreement as if opening my mouth would let the sleep out finally. He let out a big grin and started walking towards his room which was just a few metres from mine.

I watched him walk towards his room and observed the unusual calmness of the hostel “well its Saturday everybody has something doing and those that don’t are probably still on their bed” I thought to my self.

Just as I was about to lock my door so I could finish the meeting I had with sleep, I sighted a golden figure coming out of the room exactly opposite mine. Room 81. I watched how the golden complexion lady took a quiet and gentle step out of the room and waited outside as if expecting something to happen before she took the next step. She had a perfect long braid on, that fell down perfectly and rested on her shoulder, but that wasn’t the only perfect thing about her. She wore a blue jeans short, a pink top, and an amazing smile that exposed the cute dimples on her lovely cheeks. On the top of her perfectly modeled ear and cute little nose sat an eye glass. I could only wonder what magical wonders stood behind those glasses as I couldn’t see through them. Magical wonders that would later change my life I thought.  Her lips were red but natural and the way she squeezed them that morning sent chilled electric current  from my brain to my heart and back to my brain. My whole body adjusted to absorb the the excess sun rays her golden color deflected towards me. The short jeans she wore showed off her straight and spotless slim legs. All this amazing features of hers sat well calculated in her perfectly carved and slender structure.

I was aware that there were new occupants of the hostel, but I had never for once imagined that such a pretty young lady would find her way to this part of the world. Even though I hadn’t met her personally she became my new definition of perfection. I stood still like someone on hypnosis staring at God’s masterpiece. She finally decided to make her move, it looked like I spent 30 minutes staring at her but it had only been 3 minutes, enough time for her notice someone was staring but she didn’t even though I was less than 30 feet away. “Why would she notice me” I said to myself, “compared to her kind of of beauty I am invisible” I concluded while I watched her take her usual careful and perfect steps till she left my line of sight. I slammed the door and went back to the bed happily, not just because I had just sighted an Angel or a figure that before then only existed in the mind of people or as cartoon and fairy tale characters, but also because the sleep hadn’t left my body. I was just five minute into the sleep when my phone rang.. Now the sleep vanished completely

Days and weeks passed since I saw ‘My definition of perfection’ but there was not a day I didn’t replay that first scene in my head. I did not replay it because I was jobless or I was crazy in love, the scene was stuck in my head. She is the kind of girl I should fall in love with at first sight, actually I did, but I always reminded myself that she was way out of my league anytime I thought of her. I am the kind of guy that has little or no experience when it comes to wooing a girl as I have never had a girlfriend before or even fallen in love. So anytime I thought of her I had lots of questions to answer myself, questions like ‘why would such a good looking girl want to hang out with me’, ‘ what on earth would I do or say to impress such a girl? As she should have seen a lot of guys and met a lot of people that will have something new or amazing to offer her’, ‘even if a miracle happens and she accepts to go out with me, I would be faced with the challenge of keeping her away from other guys, and as such I have to be better than them!’, if I get too close to her and she decides not to date me I would feel useless and won’t my life be worse than it already is?

 If there is one thing that encouraged my distance from girls, it was cause of the  heart break and rejection. I so much prefer to stay on my own than to be ridiculed by a fellow human being like me just because I find them attractive, shit I am attractive too. But this was an Angel, I was prepared to take the risk if there was any! These  are the thoughts that go through my mind anytime I think of her. “Young man forget about this babe, this is love impossible” was what concluded the thought anytime my head was beginning to feel like an STS (Statistics) exam (exam with no solution).

Getting rid of the scene of ‘Golden Queen’ in my head became visible as it had been long I saw her,I began to wonder if it was just in my imagination that she existed and even if I truly saw her  nothing can happen was what was always coming to my mind. Not too long after I had forgotten about her already, nature decided to ‘Do me strong thing’.

It was one of my fellow hostel mates birthday on this fateful day. The hostel was very much lively and there was electrical shortage that night so it was only normal for me to chill outside. I Was going back to room when I suddenly sighted two familiar beauties walking down the stairs. It was ‘my definition of perfection’ and her mind blowing roommate. My whole system adjusted so as to fit the Situation .  That day, I knew angels do glow in the dark. Even though it was dark I could see the Golden Queen’s perfect figure and features detailed. Not only that the illumination from the Golden Queen made me have a clear view of her roommate even in the dark, she was dark in complexion and of average height. Her body features were wonderfully made and placed in her not too slender shape .

“Guy just compose yourself and walk past them like you didn’t see them” a voice from my head instructed. I agreed to that, but as they walked passed me, I heard myself say ‘Hi’. They both turned back simultaneously as if they operated on the same frequency. Now my sense organs started to work in reverse. My ears told all other sounds to be quiet, my mouth listened to what would come out of hers, my eyes saw her warm yet cold beauty, my nose smelt the beautiful fragrance on her and my skin felt an unusual calmness within her.

“Hi” they both greeted back calmly while The Golden Queen adjusted her eye glasses as if searching for what just greeted her. It was only normal, compared to such beauty I am invincible, I reminded myself. “Are you ladies new occupants of this hostel?” I asked unconsciously. “Yeah” was her roommate’s reply while The Golden Queen nodded in agreement as if she knew I could see her clearly in the dark. “The room at the corner I guess” I asked pretending to be ignorant while pointing towards their room. And I received the same reply. “I am Dele, and you are” I said confidently while putting my hands out for a shake. Now it was clear to me that it wasn’t only my mouth that acted out of the blue but all of my body parts. I was facing her roommate this time so she opened her quiet lips and spoke gently “I am Esther”. I shook her gently and faced the prettiest girl I ever met. She wore that natural smile again, this made me smile too. She shook me and said “I am Daniella”. The sound of her gentle seductive voice put my body system back to its normal tempo.

Suddenly I felt calm. Her touch made my organs function correctly. Now I felt safe. An Angel was not only smiling at me but was also holding my hands, what could go wrong? I stood still with my eyeballs heavy. They were full of tears. I was glad the environment was dark, I would have been embarrassed. My heart was overwhelmed with joy for so many reasons. “maybe I would come to pay you a visit some other time” I concluded and left her hand. “OK” they replied and we parted ways. I went straight to my room jumped on my bed and thought to myself “I finally got to talk to her, Not bad.” I reminisced throughout the night. Even though it is impossible for me to have her, I HAD BEEN GIVEN A FIGHTING CHANCE!!!….

By Dele fatoki


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The Bus Ride (ride of life) {Short story by Kolade Pelumi)

Commercial buses fondly called “danfo” buses are the commonest means of transportation in the cities. Motorcycles locally termed “okadas” are a good alternative for better flow of traffic and comfort, sadly they are very dangerous as most of their accidents are fatal.
If you move regularly by means of these commercial vehicles , you would have noticed  that they are not jolly rides. Especially for people like me. Maxi-sized individuals rarely pity skinny boys like me. I dread times when 3 robust and well fed market women sit at the back row of the bus with me, squeezing life out of me. The annoying thing is that after noticing that I am apparently in pain they would still be making gestures at me to move aside.
There are times when I wish I suddenly triple in size and fight for my right. Sadly, wishes are not horses, and these magnanimously blessed individuals take advantage of my slender structure. It hurts that I still have to pay the same amount of money with them. If I had my way, they would pay for two!! I jokingly say to myself that one day I would become a human rights activist whose specialty is fighting for the bus rights of we “lepa”(skinny) people.
On this fateful day, I was approaching the bus-stop silently praying that good fortune smiled my way today, I was tired and weak as a result of the day’s activities. I tried to salvage the little strength that remained with me and I was not ready to expend it fighting for space.
As fate would have it I saw a bus which harbored two beautiful ladies at the back seat, they were youth corpers apparently as they wore NYSC shirts. The front seats were also free and naturally would have been a preferred option. But only heaven knew the kind of person that would sit next to me. I decided to sit in between the two ladies because the devil that you know is better than the angel you don’t know… plus my case was better it was 2  angels I already knew, though I was soon to discover that all that glitters is not gold. I wore a smile over my face that conveyed relief, I did not have to struggle for space  today. Little did I know that I was in for the ride of my life.
I got into the bus in a somewhat majestical style. while trying to act cool, I gently took my seat in between the ladies as planned. After waiting for two minutes I leaned over to ask the man sitting in front of me about the whereabouts of the driver as the driver was not on sit. He merely told me that the driver went out for a moment and would soon be back. He also said the bus would move shortly. A while later he and some other guy got down from the bus. It turned out that he was the driver and he was posing as a passenger to give us the illusion that the bus was almost filled up. This was not a sincere act but I had to acknowledge that it was smart.
He cranked up the car and we were off. I inserted my earpiece into my ears ready to enjoy cool music during what I expected to be a peaceful ride. It was not long before my ordeal began. About 5 minutes into the drive I heard one of the girls sniff. I Soon realized what she was reacting too as I too started sniffing. Someone had released a chronic pungent odor which soon filled the whole car like heavy tear gas.
The smell concentrated more around me and I was convinced that this special fragrance must have been released by one of the pretty girls beside me. Yet, they were both muttering comments like “fmm fmm” ,“this is just terrible”, “this is not fair ooo” another man said “people need to drink hypo in order to wash their stomachs”. Funny enough, it was obvious the smell came from my direction and since the two girls sitting beside me where cursing, other passengers started looking in my direction suspiciously. I shouted angrily probably borne out of embarrassment “no be me ooo”.
I was already holding my nose and gasping for breath with my mouth. Slowly but surely the smell weared off and we reached a bus stop. A young guy who I assume to be in his mid-twenties alighted from the bus. Just as the bus was about to take off we started hearing someone yell “ my phone is missing”!!!!!!…
The driver pulled over. Alas! The man that just alighted from the bus was the person wailing that his phone had gone missing. Pandemonium broke free and all hell was loose in the bus. Some passengers were busy swearing, others complaining that time was being was wasted, the rest shouting and ranting some nonsense at the man whose phone was missing. I just sat still in my chair, not knowing what to think or say.
Soon a man in a soldiers’ apparel( I had not noticed him before) got down from the bus. This man was quite built physically and if you stared deep into his eyes you could almost feel the pain and anguish they were carrying. I started thinking of how many men he would have murdered, of course he was a soldier and that’s what they were trained to do. I began to picture myself in military school, I thought to myself that there was no way a guy like me could survive such harsh training. I would have probably died long ago or dropped out… …. My day dream was cut short as I felt a tight grip on my wrists. This was the kind of grip he must have used to murder people. He dragged every individual one after the other out of the bus. Fear had  gradually began to creep in
Suddenly I started feeling guilty as if I was the one who stole the missing phone, what if its in my pocket? what if it was dropped in my bag mistakenly? What if it developed wings or crawled into my bag miraculously?  Those were the questions flying inside my head. Then I started convincing myself that I could not be the thief. While I was engaged in my dilemma, the soldier announced he was going to search everyone from head to toe. He started looking at everybody’s face and soon our eyes clashed. He sensed my fear and said “ I dey suspect dis pikin” I felt like telling him to his face “who be pikin?” but the thought of receiving a deafening slap kept me mute. Though I was sure I did not take the phone, my face betrayed my conviction.

After the soldier’s comment, attention started coming towards me . People started throwing suspicious glances at me once again. This time I had no reply for them.My expressions only betrayed my innocence the more .I could hardly feel my mouth, talk less of moving them. My hands were already shaking and my entire body was now the epitome of the personification of fear.
Just then, one of the pretty NYSC ladies asked the phone owner for his phone number, I wonder why this had not occurred to anyone yet, probably we all thought it had been stolen and the thief could not be so dumb to leave it on. But I mean, it was still worth the try. She dialed it and the phone started ringing….

Lo and behold, it was ringing in the trousers of the owner. Apparently, he had a leaking pocket and his phone had slipped all the way to the bottom without his knowledge. He was wearing skinny pants so his phone could not drop to the ground. You need to see the look on his face when he discovered the phone, he was like a helpless puppy looking for its mummy, simply priceless!!!
Different people now wore different expressions. The soldier was putting on an angry look, some looks portrayed disbelief, others frustration, the driver was upset, angry, frustrated all in one. He had missed out time to make more returns. I had the best look at that moment. My look portrayed relief. Our tight-fisted soldier apologized for rough handling us.
The journey henceforth was silent. I could not wait to get off this plagued vehicle.
As I approached my bus stop I reached into my pocket to bring out my #100 naira note. All I that was in my pocket was this flyer I was given to attend a program. Come to think of it…. I could bet I had thrown that flyer away. On my way to the car park, a lady walked towards me and handed me this flyer. She made me say to her that I was going to attend this praise programme her church was organizing. Not wanting to waste my time and also disappoint the lady, I said I would come. After I left her, I remember reaching into my pocket to throw the flyer into the dustbin.
Did I throw my money away instead of the flyer?…. See me see #GOBE . All that was irrelevant now. What was on ground now was how to produce the 60 naira transport fare!!

Written by @koladePelumi

Letter from a Mother to her daughter

I read this letter online and wanted to share it with you all. Its so sweet and touching. I hope you all learn a thing or two from it. Read below

“My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through.
If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”… Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep.

When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl?
When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way… remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day… the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through.

If I occasionally lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you.
And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked.
When those days come, don’t feel sad… just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love.
I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you… my darling daughter.”

– Unknown
Source – Nairaland

Disclaimer: writers and authors of posts on this blog claim no ownership over this piece. I wish  we knew who the writer was so I could acknowledge him/her.
After reading this piece I am sure you realise why we had to put this up here!
watch out for the rise of the prince of Afropop
The power of culture to create a better future(an essay)… Coming soon.
issue 4 of banger series room 24 GH is live on the blog already
follow this blog’s official account   @stellarart009


Selenah! my love

Some people believe in love but never fall in love. Others do not believe but end up falling in love. Some believed but because of a crucial heart break stopped believing in love. Well my case is the best ever! I believe in love and I am still in love. That is one positive thing that happened during this strike.

For selenah and I,it was love at first sight. I would never forget the color of what she wore that day. She was dressed in red, with a tint of black. She likes dressing in red! I knew I was going to meet her that day but nobody told me of her stunning appearance. I mean, I went to look for her at the shop. I was told I would see her there.  I felt excitement from within as I set eyes on her. She did not know I was coming and I did not know I was about to fall in love. Ever since our encounter at the shop, I knew I had to make Selenah mine and mine alone. I sure did!

Selenah and I have been together for like 3 months now, it has been rough, sometimes am doting her, other times I ignore her. It is not like I do not like her any longer. It is just that I do not have ample time for her anymore. I remember the first two weeks we were together, our relationship was rock solid. I always spent every tick of my time with her. But as time went by, I started getting distracted by other things. Sometimes my mind even skips her, but as soon as I lay my eyes on her, I fall in love all over again.

Many times I find it difficult to read her, other times I am out right frustrated by her. I guess that is how relationships are.

Anyway,  be it the good or bad times, I always enjoy selenah’s company.
I hope to have  Selenah forever, she wold always be in my heart, but when she gets a little older I would have to get another . I know this sounds wicked and unfair to selenah,  but I would have no choice. Her beauty would have faded  and she may not be as useful as before. So I would have to get another to replace her. Anyway, I would always be in love with her 6 strings. Selenah my guitar!!

By Kolade Pelumi(@ KoladePelumi)


Lol. I know Some people are probably wishing to strangle me now. Anyways I am sorry to disappoint you guys.

I promise the kind of love story you all wanted for Christmas!! (maybe two)

A letter by a mother to her daughter——- coming soon
Anticipate new stories by writers new to this blog.
The rise of the prince of Afropop- coming soon
Follow this blog’s official account @stellarart009

Brown bottles

As I drive slowly to St Patrick’s hospital. My heart thumps mildly. I am trying to concentrate on my driving, but my mind keeps dragging me back to last week.

Last week, Taye (my friend) and  I went to the bar. I just won the contract for a road construction, so we went to celebrate this feat. I ordered free drinks on the house. I paid for the drinks of about 30 people present at the bar.

I used to boast that I could control my senses under the influence of alcohol, so Taye and I decided that today was a brilliant day to to test out who had the highest alcohol tolerance of the two of us. Before we knew it, we were on 6 bottles of beer and were both very drunk! I could hardly keep my mind in one place!

Soon , a girl walked up to my table and engaged me in a conversation. I remember she was really pretty and had a beautiful red gown on . Another thing I noticed even while my head was spinning was that she had the most beautiful accent. It sounded a little bit American but with a hint of the swagger with which Britons talked , I loved it.

I don’t remember much of the conversation, but I know we discussed her love life. From the hint of whiskey I perceived from her mouth, It was obvious she had been drinking too, but was not drunk.

On a good day, I would avoid a keen discussion with such a pretty being at a bar, mainly because I’m married! And I love my wife with my life, so I try to steer away from any sought of storms that would rock the boats our beautiful marriage.

She talked about how she had problems dating numerous guys. She rambled on about how she had lost faith in love. I told her I did not share her beliefs and I struggled to be coherent when narrating the love story between my wife and I.   I can’t remember what else we said to each other but I remember she beamed a lot during our conversation. She had a beautiful smile .

At some point, I checked my watch and realised it was few minutes past 10pm. My wife would be worried!!!!

I lazily got up to walk to my car, but I kept stumbling. Taye was not much of a help. He was very drunk too, so you could say that we were both as useless as the “p” in psycho. I don’t even know which direction Taye staggered to.

In the midst of my troubles, pretty lady (I did not get her name yet) came to my aid as I staggered aimlessly around the bar.

I did not know what I was doing and I foolishly followed her into my car. My phone rang. I took a look at it, my wife was trying to call but I could not coordinate my senses to pick up, talk less about speaking.

Pretty lady drove me off and honestly  I can hardly remember what happened after . All I realized is that when I regained full consciousness the next morning, I was only wearing my boxers, on a bed , in an unfamiliar environment.

As I looked up I noticed that the pretty miss that rescued me from yester-night was all dressed up and ready for work. A confused me asked her if anything happened between us and all I got was a smile. Just like the beams she flashed often at the bar.

She told me she was hurrying off to work and that I should dress up also. She left her business card and my car keys on the sofa where I lay and she took off.

My God! Am I dreaming? What have I done? Right there and then, I swore never to drink anymore. What explanation would I offer my wife? How the hell did I end up in this mess? What in the world happened last night? Those were the questions that flew through my head in random fashion.

I practically flew out of pretty lady’s home without even taking a blink at the card. I got home to a very worried wife and I offered her one cock and bull story about having to pass the night at a friend’s place. Though it was not convincing enough and I could tell that she was not buying my story. That was the best I could offer on short notice.

Ever since the incident with pretty lady I have not had rest. Have I contracted HIV/AIDS or some other sexually transmitted disease? Are my days numbered? I don’t even know what to think. I have been too much of a scared cat to go for a proper check-up.

This morning I decided to face my fears. As I would not have good rest until I had a complete check-up.

Here I am now in the doctor’s office waiting anxiously for the results of the tests. He tells me that I don’t have syphilis but my test for HIV turned out positive. My world had been turned upside down. What would I do?, what will I tell my wife? He starts to explain that this is not the end of the world and continues on with some other things. All his explanations fall on deaf ears. All I think about is my life, what will become of it.
Shortly after a nurse comes  and says “sir, I think I mixed up those results”. Oh – my!!! Did I hear right? my innermost soul craved that what the nurse said be true. Luckily, it was. I was cleared. The positive HIV result belonged to another person. I had pity on that person but  I was grateful I was not the victim.

I don’t know what happened that night, I don’t know if I ever want to know. Maybe, nothing even happened. Maybe pretty miss just took care of me and gave me a place to sleep. Whatever it is, I don’t want to know. All I know is that I don’t want to have anything to do with those brown bottles any more.

Written by Kolade Oluwapelumi

Follow On Twitter and Instagram (@koladepelumi)


Dealing with pressure

Dealing with Pressure

by Feranmi Muraina @prodigy

Have you ever felt like just leaving everything behind and having not a care in the world, or you just put your music volume on highest, jam up your earphones and flee from the crossfire in that place you call home, well, welcome to my world where am constantly pestered by this entity known as pressure.

From parents who think cos they pay a lot of money to take care of you, your opinions are unwarranted and the only thing you should be thinking of is how to make their workload easier…..and then even when u try your best to please them, all u get is criticism for a botched work and ignorance of a job well done.

From  school where your lecturers make your life a living hell all because they had a hard time during their years and therefore it is a very grave sin for yours to be any easier and that’s why they smother yo u with notes ,handouts, assignments, deadlines quizzes, tests etc.

From the workplace who made Monday your worst enemy cos Mondays mean going back to that workplace where u hate it but you gotta get paid, sucking up to shiny assed bosses who don’t even got what u got, but just because of connections are where they are.

All this have been foremost in my and how to overcome them when sometimes last month while playing a soccer game (Pes 10…..i no like pes13 joor) and after I scored a goal with Cristiano Ronaldo (who’s obviously better than Lionel Messi ) that the electronic commentators gave me my answer, they said “that was a wonderful goal, he controlled the ball perfectly well even under the pressure from the defense and kept his eyes on goal and it paid off in the end, fantastic effort from Cristiano Ronaldo and now Madrid is in the driving seat”.

Ignoring the second part (which obviously shows am winning) and taking a look at the preceding part, it is clear that

He was under pressure: Now let us liken this pressure from the defense to our everyday life pressures, and the pesky little defenders to the perpetrators of this ignoble weight on our lives, they will always be there but it is us who decides how deal with them.

He controlled the ball : which is the same as keeping our cool and not letting these pressures get to us.

He kept his eye on goal :simple, you must have a goal and you must keep it in focus.

He scored (like he always does) : and then we’ll triumph.

His team is ahead in the game: your success will definitely decrease your pressures just as surely as Ronaldo’s teammates and fans won’t pressurize him after that wonderful goal.
So in summary, keep your cool and keep your eyes on the goal……and let’s see if you won’t be better for it…………….

Written by prodigy ( @prodigy001)


Great piece peeps… It was written  by prolific writer  prodigy.

Though, his opinion on lionel messi stands to be challenged 🙂

Watch out for the maiden edition of #stellaryouth.. I will be bringing on a young entrepreneur.

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Letter to my unborn child – A rendition by Kolade Pelumi



Written by Kolade Oluwapelumi  

(male version)

Hey dude, (it kind of sounds weird saying ‘son’ at my age and stage…..) I did not really want to write this letter so I don’t jinx everything I have planned for you. Anyways, I decided to do it just for fun. Just so you know, I plan on being the coolest dad ever. Also, you would have one of the coolest mums on the planet. Your grandparents are the best. You would surely meet them by God’s grace.

Back to your mum (my wife ).She would be the prettiest person man ever laid eyes upon(trust me on that one) though I probably have not met her yet, (or I might have) whichever way, I am pretty sure about her beauty . So that obviously means you would be one of the finest children ever to be born.

We would do the coolest things like playing games together till late into the night. You would learn the guitar from me,( girls really dig we guitarists you know!)…. so it would be an added advantage apart from your beauty ( yes, a boy can be referred to as being beautiful). Even if I am not catching on my chords fast, by the time you arrive I should be a pro.

You would love the lord your God, even though having a close relationship with God is up to you, I will play my role as a father and put you on the right path. Enough said already, I have millions of plans for you, very exciting ones. We would wait until you arrive. Please note, I would not have any traits of rebellion in you. So you would have to be a good boy.

Ps: I really hope you come as a boy and have a little sister. If you come as a girl first,well……. I will write your letter next (just in case).

Your loving father!


Yeah you!….. I really wanted a boy as a first child and I will sing that to you all your life. I  am kidding of course. I would love you silly. You would definitely be pretty, almost to a fault. Obviously, it is simply” genetical” (You should see your mum!) The usual rules apply. No dating till you are 15 (25 actually, if I had my way lol). I would get fearsome dogs, about 10 to place a check on those boys your beauty will unavoidably attract. (Just joking with the 10 dogs….. but there would definitely be dogs).  I have billions of plans for you as well. I guess we would wait for time to run it’s course.

Note to reader:
Thanks for reading! If you have written or want to write letters to your unborn children (just for FUN) you can mail it to .

We would publish it, if it is really good.

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Kolade Oluwapelumi                                                                                                             Twitter -@koladePelumi                                                                                                     Instagram -@KoladePelumi



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